I. I thought loving people was enough. It didn’t matter if I would prefer to have no attachments – I thought the very act of loving that was important and the heart mattered less. I have changed my mind.
I will love in the face of being hurt. I will love in the face of scorn. I will love because it is the only way to be.
II. I’ve never had fully formed thoughts about marriage. I only knew that I wanted to be married and that I wanted to be loved. It goes without saying that I didn’t understand anything about relationships either.
But, for now, I have decided that I will be mindful. A relationship of a certain sort is meant for more than walking on clouds. It’s not empty promises, because your aim isn’t security or affection or gifts – your aim won’t be for anything you can get, it’s for what you can give.
This model works because a relationship should be built on shared vision. A couple is stronger together, but only if they’re going in the same direction.
I have changed my mind about relationships. Any relationship I enter, like any good contract, must not be unequal in its terms. If we do not walk for the same purpose, we do not walk together at all. And, following the principle of love I have just decided on, I will love as a choice and I will decide it daily.
III. I have changed my mind about destiny. I have changed my mind about purpose. It’s all still brewing and it doesn’t make as much sense as I would like it to. But it has changed how I walk.
And, as ever, my last month of the year will be spent in introspection. May I always, always, always change my mind.