Sometimes I feel very clever when I can
Sometimes I feel very clever when I can express myself. I don’t even have to express myself well, I just need to make things sound sorted and coherent.
I’ve realised – and, of course, I chose today of all times to realise this – that I’ve made myself sound like I’m sad all the time. Well, yeah, I get sad and the introversion probably doesn’t help in real life but I don’t epitomise misery. (I sound unconvincing, don’t I? It’s okay. I’m not particularly concerned by that right now.)
So, this is one of those rare posts I write when I am not sad. I’m stressed (it’s exam season) but I’m not actually sad. I’m writing this precisely because I have nothing to say – nothing witty or poetic or writer-ly.
I’ve come to the conclusion that it’s just much easier to write when the lights are turned off in my room and in my head. It helps with the scrabbling back to sanity. Plus, when things are cheery and bright, there just isn’t that much to say; I’d rather enjoy the quiet happiness than talk about it.
I have to stop here because my notes are staring at me from the table.
Oh, but I should note here that I’ll be heading home in 2 weeks. That’s nice. It’ll also be…interesting. Mostly because I’ve been thinking a lot about the nature of my friendships…when I should be thinking about genetics.