A Break

by Rie

It’s the end of my mid-sem break today.

It wasn’t really a break. I kinda spent it on a farm – a nice cattle farm which raises grass-fed Limousin cattle. It was a nice placement in itself. The property was beautiful. The cows were beautiful. It just wasn’t a very nice week.

Oddly, I’m not feeling very down about it. That said, I’m tired, burnt and frozen, itchy, short $50 and bruised. I haven’t studied for my Equine Anatomy exam. I feel incompetent since I haven’t been doing my job right.

Still not feeling too bad. In my head, it was a week filled with stories. I like stories.

I am now spending time thinking about my job because I am leaving it by the end of this year. It comes with leaving my Sydney home of 2 years.

I don’t know if I feel completely happy about it.

But it’s time to go.

It has stopped feeling like home. It’s been that way for a while now.

And it reminds me that a home is made up of people. This place is not home because of the people who lay the bricks of this house. I wonder, once I have finished my degree, what home will be. My heart feels empty thinking about it. 

It’s back to work now, though. There is a to-do list at my elbow.

(I hope to God that, in 10 years, I will not be writing the same words. I might.)