by Rie

This is a filler of a post. I’m not even sure how to tag it. I’m not sure I would even need a tag because I don’t think I’d ever need to find this post.

Speaking of tags and, therefore, topics, I’m beginning to wonder what I could credibly voice an opinion on. I mean, I like reading and I like putting things together but that doesn’t add any weight to my thoughts. I was wondering this because I had to step away from another post, so I could figure out if I were too biased. Some topics don’t seem to belong on a personal blog such as this but, because they are my thoughts, they kinda do.

I’m quite certain I’ll never earn my keep from blogging, so there’s a load off my mind right there. I mean, I used to wonder if I could – with the advent of very, very popular bloggers – but, heck, it’s a lot a less trouble with far less responsibility.

Then, again, make up and fashion bloggers get free clothes and they don’t have that much responsibility. What I wouldn’t give to not have to shop. Just throw clothes at me, companies, etc. Except, then, I’d need to learn how to take selfies.

I’m not sure if it’s a good thing but my mind has been stirring again. It makes me ridiculously tired. But it isn’t anxiety – I think I would know if it was. It’s a foreign feeling that’s pressing against my temples and putting me to sleep.

Maybe I’m just fatigued. But that makes little sense because I haven’t actually been doing much.

I’ve had almost no human contact today. Except for when I ordered ramen just as the noodle place was about to close. Or when I picked up two packages. Those don’t count. Neither do my virtual interactions.

But it’s been quite nice for someone who rails against loneliness. Maybe it’s not loneliness I’m terrified of. Maybe it’s the unknowable associated with it. I’ve felt stirrings of something in my mind. Perhaps I just need to stand back and see what comes out of it.

Anyway, I’m also picking up where I left off on a book of mine. I shredded more words. I think I was too caught up in trying to finish; I’ve ended up with a bunch of fragments now and I can’t remember where they all go. I can almost hear myself reason out the method: “Well, if you just write down what you want to write for the moment, eventually you’ll have enough pieces and you can just patch them together as you would the squares of a quilt.”

Except few of my fragments are proper squares and I need to rewrite them.

Is this actually more work than outlining the book and going at it from there?

Oh, there we go, I think we can tag this post as ‘writing’. Yes, that makes sense.

I think I’ve written in an earlier post that I have about twenty-four thousand words. Ha. Five thousand of that is gone now. I should be less pleased by this.

I’m going to have a midnight snack with my characters now. (I’ve heard of authors loving their characters to pieces. I don’t. If I were to actually befriend my characters in this three-dimensional world of ours, I have a feeling they’d just talk over me. Or just talk to each other telepathically while ignoring the other person in the room at their table, i.e., me.)

I’ll finish telling this story, darn it. So, yes, midnight snack.